Captain Ahab of the Kitchen!

Ok, really that just relates to the MOST adorable measuring cups you will ever look at….EVER.

I’m in pain….so cute…..

Since you can’t really see, the whale itself, is 1 cup. I thought it was just a little whale container at first, then Chris noticed the measuring cups that went inside. I almost passed out.

Best part is, it was on SUPER sale and cost me $2.99. ❤ To be honest its because there was a teensy little chip in the paint, but its no big, I love my whale.

Your local Urban Outfitters may still have one for you to adopt. These were in bits and pieces at the Burbank UO.

A trip to Burbank on Saturday morning meant one great thing: Farmer’s Market. So we went crazy with the tangerines, strawberries, and MEYER LEMONS! They were pretty nice looking, and four for a dollar, so I got some and am prepared for baking tomorrow. Lemon Curd and Macaroons ❤ yum yum yum. I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

 

Last but not least is Galco’s Soda. We picked up some new sodas to try. I am really looking forward to trying them!

 

Coconut Cream Cake Truffles

Are delicious…

I have had this fascination with “cake pops” for a while now, but I have refrained from making any because they are really sweet!

Pending on my interview tomorrow, I might be shipping these out to some friends! This is good for all of us, trust me.

Recipe:

Coconut Cream Cake Truffles

(Adapted* from Wilton’s Coconut Cream Pie Cake Pops)

*when I say adapted, I mean I added WAAAAY more coconut then these old bats…anyway…

the goods:

1 box white cake mix

1 package instant vanilla pudding mix

4 eggs

1 cup water

1/3 cup vegetable oil

2/3 cup vanilla frosting

2 1/2 cups shredded coconut *divided*

1 lb. vanilla candy melts

the process:

-Preheat oven to 350F and grease up your 13×9 in. pan. Also for later, set aside a cookie sheet lined with parchment or wax paper.

-Combine Cake mix, pudding mix, eggs, water, and oil in large bowl, mix until dry ingredients are fully incorporated. (for about 2 minutes)

-Pour into prepared pan and bake at 350F for 35-40 minutes*.

*my oven is gas, so things get real hot in there fast, the cake was done in about 30, just watch it, mine did seem a little “batter-y” in the middle, but its just the pudding mix talking, the cake was fine.

-Allow cake to cool completely, then cut it in half and freeze the other half for later use. (or if you are in my house, you just snack on the second half <3)

-Place the half of your cake in a bowl and crumble it until there are no more big pieces left.

-Fold in icing and 1 1/2 cups of the coconut. Mix until incorporated. Your new “batter” should be pretty moist and easy to handle, if you have a hard time forming the cake truffles, add more icing until it is blended well.

-Form little balls with the cake mixture and set on lined cookie sheet. Once you have formed all of the cake mix, refrigerate the cake balls for at least 2 hours.

-While refrigerating, take the last cup of coconut and heat it up in a saucepan over medium heat. Continuously stir the coconut until lightly brown and toasted! (yum!!) Remove from heat, allow time to cool, and place in a small bowl near your candy dipping area for the next step.

-Heat up your candy melts and dip the cake balls into the melted candy coating. Then dip into the toasted coconut, return cake ball to lined cookie sheet, repeat process.

These should keep for a few weeks if refrigerated.

ENJOY!!

yeild: 32 Delicious Truffles

My descent into mindfulness

Roller coaster doesn’t even begin to describe what happens to your emotions when you are unemployed. All self sufficiency pulled out from underneath you, and just going to the grocery store can be a depressing task. The thing that could potentially make you feel worse about your situation, is if you’ve moved far away from home, loved ones, and stability.

The thing I want you to understand is, I believe that there is hope, even if it is a tiny shred of light in the very distant future, its there.

I have to cling to this idea, that there is always light, even though my life seems like a vacuum.

I normally bake to make myself feel better, but it gets expensive, and I now have no one to give my baked goods to. Shipping costs a lot, so I can’t very well mail off every cookie and cupcake, Chris and I shouldn’t eat them all, and the only other person I know out here has more specific dietary food needs (I’m not complaining about them, I accept them as a challenge to my food knowledge!)

Something that Rosario practiced with me before I left, I recently learned is called mindfulness. Calm meditation and focused breathing. It seems to be that whole concept of in with the good, and out with the bad.

Probably the most common deterrent in my leaving the house is how I look. I am my toughest critic. Whether this is under the mindfulness category or not, I look at myself and go from “your overweight, your arms are gross, your hair looks dirty” to “This dress looks nice on you, your beautiful, not perfect, but who is?”

I take these tiny, silly little steps to increase my enthusiasm for leaving, or even for staying in, but actually getting out of bed.

I feel that the stumbling block I reach is that I don’t aim for goals. Instead of saying, “I feel like shit, I want to feel awesome” I aim for “I feel like shit, I want to not feel like shit”. Too vague. The brain wants craves more.

I want to feel creative, joyful, beautiful, intelligent, and with purpose.

It all comes with baby steps, and calm, guided, breathing.

Mountain Vs. Me

Chris has presented me with a challenge.

Yosemite.

I am, to be frank, TERRIFIED. I don’t’ do heights. The last mountain I climbed with him I thought would be the end of it. I love the feeling, the rush of getting to the top, but not of looking down.

Again, I DON’T do heights.

I also find it difficult to say no to such an amazing trip. Hiking Yosemite might be just what I need in a emotional and spiritual sense….but I get nervous at 1,000ft. above sea level. I can’t even fathom 6,500ft.

For all you critics out there, lets keep in mind that I have lived at sea level my entire life, and haven’t spent a lot of time otherwise.

But a challenge it is. I am trying to figure out how I am going to train my body and mind, and there is a 400 foot hill around the corner from where I live that has my name on it.

I have to have faith in myself, and as terrified as I am, I have to do this. It isn’t for bragging rights, its for myself.

and now for something completely different…

I BAKED! horray! It was wonderful too, I had these bananas sitting on the counter looking at me, weeping, begging for me to make banana bread…then one day BAM! Two fresh loaves are being consumed by myself and the only other two people I know in LA.

 

Gooddaysir.

 

Chris dragged me on a hike yesterday, again. I cried. I get so bummed out, but the fact that I get up and keep trying is almost inspirational…..right?

 

So the hike, Culver City Park, around sunset. It was really nice, I might go out there while he is at work and make that my workout. Since the gym won’t answer my emails, and I can’t call the lady. *grumble*

 

We had a vegan dinner last night, with not so vegan dessert. Artichokes (my favorite food on earth), a three bean salad marinated in a vinegarette (thank you Trader Joe’s), and Chips and Salsa!

 

followed by mint chocolate chip ice cream :3

 

I have been frequenting the UCB theater a lot, mostly because my friend is taking classes there and watches shows for class. Today is her graduation show, and I am hoping it doesn’t mean its the last time I go to watch! Its a good time, and makes me laugh…excessively.

 

Chris is going to help me clean today, before we go to the theater for my friend’s show. This includes a trip to the laundry which I found out I really enjoy! So I leave you with this:

I<3NPH

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chaaanges…

I live in Los Angeles….

L.A. is by far not the challenging part of that statement, its the “live” word. *gulp*

I feel that it will settle in that this is a long term situation, when I find a job, which is still an active search. I applied for a few, including one at a culinary store that I am REALLY crossing my fingers for. We will see.

In the mean time I am a loser and I googled “How to make friends in new cities”

Don’tjudgeme.

It recommended volunteering! Which I fully support, why not give back to my new community! So I have set out on the hunt for volunteering opportunities. Volunteer Match was a great resource. But I think I am doing this all wrong, the only one I signed up for was to bake cakes for Meals for Wheels…which isn’t a social option. BUT I GET TO BAKE BIRTHDAY CAKES! Especially since they are for people who don’t normally get a birthday cake.

That makes me happy.

Settling in to a new apartment is a challenge as well, especially since we are taking our time to find the bits and pieces of furniture. But it will all come, in due time.

Totoro is happy though, and I will leave you with pictures of her being a cat. :3

 

I don’t care what anyone says.

I am decorating my house for Christmas.

 

Lets put it this way, I work in the “most magical place on earth” and they are FULLY decked out for the holidays. Not that I mind, but a lot of wonderful things are coming my way during Christmas time. I am greatly anticipating the season, and I need it to be here right now. I have never been more in the “Christmas Spirit” then I am now. So, brownies, marshmallows, cookies, fake snow, Christmas trees, cinnamon, cloved oranges, Bing Crosby…
Bring it on.

I am

I am never going to really change. I think I have finally settled into becoming who I am, truly.

 

I sometimes wonder what I will be like, you know, when I grow up. I look at how selfish I can be now, how lazy I am, how hard it is for me to commit to things. It makes me wonder how I will every be able to embrace adulthood. I wondered for a very long time how I would manage to settle down and feel ok with “spending the rest of my life” with someone. It never made sense to me. Love didn’t exist, and I didn’t think it was possible.

 

I hope I don’t speak too quickly in saying that it apparently takes the right person to understand that particular feeling.

 

I am hoping that this applies to careers, living, and even children. The selfishness fades away, the need to constantly run will slowly turn to a desire to wait things out.

 

I have no fear of the future. Just fear of not having one. Not that I am afraid of dying, although I feel that everyone is afraid of dying in some way. I am just concerned that I won’t get off my ass and do something about my life. I go through such enormous bouts of depression, it worries me that I will just eat myself to death and give up entirely.

 

enough sad emotion. For now, there is astronomy homework to complete, and I have been slacking off baking all day today. I made oreo brownies and homemade tortillas. Then I ran my ass off at the gym. Its a good balance.

IT IS TIME!

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!

 

Are you excited?

 

I know I am…because….

 

I AM MAKING MARSHMALLOWS! 😀

 

so excited….you have no idea…can’t breathe! *falls over*

 

So I now have to decide if I want to take it easy, and just try regular marshmallows first, or if I want to go all willy nilly and make pumpkin marshmallows.

 

I suppose we will see.

 

Brace yourselves people, homemade marshmallow goodness starts tomorrow.

I know, I know…

Dear Nonexistant Reader,

 

I am sorry I have disappeared for so long. I make a vow to write with more frequency.

 

Sorry,

-me

 

I took a cycling class today. I never understood why in movies women talked about how much they hated their spinning instructors, or why people put themselves through all of that nonsense. Then I realized that I am highly uncomfortable with my body image, and that needs to change.

 

So amidst school, working and taking on new responsibilities at my job, as well as gearing up for the big move, I am going to lose 60 pounds.

 

You read correctly.

 

60 el bee esses (lbs)

 

I know that is a big task, but the way that I look at it, I don’t really have any rush. There are no fancy events I need to attend, nothing spectacular that I need to impress anyone with, this is just me…and that damn cycling instructor. The best part of the class is that he pretended to be my friend, he came over and helped me set up my bike, gave me some tips, and then destroyed my soul.

 

what a sweetheart.

 

but you know what, I am going to look like that skinny bitch at the front of my class if it kills me.

 

I think the best part is that I met the nicest girl in the class. She was a senior in high school, and we were talking because she could tell I was really nervous. She said I seemed like I would be fine, because I “looked like [I was] in good shape” (nicest girl ever) She also said that she thought I was a senior in high school as well.

Gym girl=My new best friend.

 

I encouraged her to apply to Harvard, because she said she was afraid they would say no. I told her it is my biggest regret that I never even tried, and the worst they could do is send a rejection letter.

 

I hope she does. She was nice.

 

OK, Astronomy hw is calling me. Night loves.