Life is moving too quickly. It seems that only a few months ago I had almost figured everything out.
Funny how different I feel now.
Within a few short months I will be leaving all of my past behind me. I know it follows my heart, but the daily, tangible reminders will no longer exist. This past year and a half has been the death of the old me. Not to sound too self righteous, or pseudo-profound, but in many ways I do feel like a phoenix. I have died in so many words, and I am breaking through the ashes.
Maybe the ashes are the hardest part of the Phoenix’s journey. I would believe that, they are the hardest part of mine as well.
The life I leave behind soon, will never be the same. I can’t tell if I’ll miss it, or revel in it’s absence. I have looked at my peers in awe and shame, I have cried in excess, and judged my life more than God himself would. I am tired of the struggle, of the judgement, and of the tears. I know that the ashes are the burnt remains of my shattered, pathetic past. But I also know that they are a part of who I used to be, and as soon as I can move out of them, and stop staring, the sooner I can realize how much more life has to offer.
I miss flying, I think its time I try again.